for my dearest Raisa...

I apologise because due to my busy replying emails at the laptop, I let you walk by yourself, fall and bang your head on the floor,

I apologise as sometimes due to stressful day at work, I came home with a frown on my forehead, and forget to smile to you.

I apologise as because I was tired, I slept early with you tugging at my shirt, requesting for a story time.

I apologise when I rush to work because I was late, leaving you crying at the door.

I apologise for raising my voice to you due to impatience, when I know you are only a child.

I apologise for not being able to cook all your food and having to rely on instant Heinz, when i know I should.

I apologise for not obliging to play when you requested, but do some unimportant thing instead.

I apologise for not being an understanding, compassionate, calm and reasonable mother at ALL times, but let my emotions rule my actions.

I apologise as I was busy being a working adult, I neglect the time when you will only be a child once.

I apologise for not putting you No 1 on my priority list, when you are supposed to be on the top of the chart.

I apologise for all the above, and I really hope that you would understand when you are all grown up.

I hope you will know and always remember that despite my weaknesses, I do really love you very much,

That I would trade my life for you

That whatever happens, you are the greatest gift from Allah to me, and I hope I will do my best in bringing you up according to His blessings,

And InshaAllah, may we endure the hardships in this world for a better life in Jannah.

One day.

-composed by a guilty mom.